19/07/13 It was my hen do to the races on Friday 12th July. I was so excited and looking forward to celebrating but that all came crushing down when my niece told me that my friend's cancer is back and she has 1 to 3 years!! Devestated is not the word, I text her immediately and she confirmed she was having chemo and she would speak to me when she saw me.
Saturday morning I broke down and it flooded out of me and thank god my family were with me but I kept thinking of Flash and wished I had his arms round me!!! So many feelings, guilt (survival guilt apparently) not yet but guilt for putting everyone through the pain. She couldn't have done anything differently and I know she would have been beating herself up about it but look at me , never smoked, I did sport, and i've got it! But when I got home I went to speak to her and thank god we can talk honestly to eachother and we did we opened up and had the best chat ever. We talked about things only we understand for which I will always be grateful for. She encouraged me to go and get checked out, I have some chest pains still, I was sent for some tests and the waiting began.....
01/08/13 I received a phone call from my breast care nurse and she told me my test results were all clear, thank goodness. I then saw my surgeon and we discussed her referring me for reconstruction and it's been done.
We have just over a week till the wedding and now my attitude has changed I feel extremely positive about our future. I have been to /CancerCareCharity and I could possibly have a job with them as the volunteer coordinator, so things are looking up.
I have been thinking of dad lots and feeling very emotional, obviously the presure of the tests etc have now gone and I think I have time to grieve and I really miss him. The wedding will be quite difficult not having him with us but I know he will be proud of us. He told me "you have got a good-en there lass" :)
07/12/13 Goodness me I can't quite believe the date! That means I haven't put pen to paper since before our wedding.
To put things simply we have got married, been to Australia, I have got a new job, i'm back umpiring and most importantly my friend is losing her fight and may not be here for christmas but knowing how hard she fights she will give it a damn good go.
Dear god i've just looked in the mirror and you should see my bed head! it made me giggle, good job I have already got my husband.......
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